Mentoring phrases
What to say to a mentor, and how to thank one
Mentoring phrases are short sentences you can use as they are, or adapt, to ask someone to mentor you, request a session, open a first conversation, give feedback and thank a mentor. They are written by Mentorly, the mentoring software organizations use to run structured mentorship programs.
How to ask someone to be your mentor
Be specific about why this person, what you hope to learn and how much of their time you are asking for. A clear, small ask is easier to say yes to than an open request for guidance.
- I admire how you moved from an individual role into leading a team, and I would value your perspective as I try to make the same move. Would you be open to a conversation once a month for the next few months?
- I am working on getting better at presenting to senior leaders, and you do it well. Could I ask you for some time to talk about how you prepare?
- I joined our mentorship program hoping to learn more about your area of the business. Would you be willing to be my mentor for this cohort?
- I know your time is limited. If a regular mentorship is too much right now, a single conversation would already help me a great deal.
What to write in a session request
When you request a session in a Mentorly program, the mentor sees who requested it, the date and time, and the message explaining what you would like to discuss. That message decides how well they can prepare, so say what you want to leave the session with.
- I would like to talk about the feedback from my last project review and decide what to work on before the next one.
- I have an offer to move to another team and I would like your view on the questions I should ask before I decide.
- Could we use this session to look at my plan for the quarter? I will send it ahead of time so you can read it first.
What to say in a first session with a mentor
A first session is for agreeing on how you will work together. These openers settle the practical questions early, so the next sessions go to the work itself.
- Here is the one thing I most want help with, and here is what I have already tried.
- Would you rather I bring a specific question to each session, or should we keep a running list of topics?
- If I cannot make a session, how much notice would you like, and what is the best way to tell you?
- Please tell me when my questions are too broad. I would rather hear it than waste your time.
- Here is what I would like to be able to do by the end of our mentorship. Does that sound realistic to you?
Phrases a mentor can use with a mentee
Mentors set the tone. Good phrases from a mentor ask before they advise, name what is working, and make it safe to talk about what is not.
- Before I share what I would do, what options have you already considered?
- What you did well in that meeting was keep the discussion on the decision. Do that again next time.
- I made a similar mistake early in my career. Here is what I learned from it, and what I would do differently.
- You do not need my permission for this. You already have what you need to decide.
- What is one thing you will try before our next session, and how will you know it worked?
How to thank a mentor
Thank your mentor directly, in your own words, and say what changed because of them. In a Mentorly program, participants are prompted with a Ratings and Reviews survey at the end of each session, and these reviews are not shared with the mentor or mentee being reviewed: the program team reads them. A thank you meant for your mentor belongs in a message to them.
- Thank you for your time today. Your question about what I actually want from this role is still on my mind, in the best way.
- I used your advice in my review this week and it went better than any I have had. Thank you for preparing me for it.
- Thank you for being honest with me when it would have been easier not to be. It made a real difference.
- I am grateful for the time you gave me during this program. I leave it more confident, and with a plan I believe in.
- You have been a mentor in the truest sense: you listened first, and you helped me find my own answers. Thank you.
A sample thank you letter to a mentor
At the end of a mentorship, a short letter says more than a card. Replace the parts in brackets with what is true for you.
Dear [mentor’s name],
As our mentorship comes to an end, I want to thank you for the time and attention you gave me. When we started, I wanted to [the goal you came in with], and I was not sure where to begin.
The conversation I return to most is the one about [a specific session or piece of advice]. It changed how I [what you now do differently], and I still use it.
Thank you for your patience, your honesty and your belief that I could do this. I hope we stay in touch, and I would be glad to help you in return whenever I can.
With gratitude, [your name]
For program managers: share phrases with your whole program
Some mentees hesitate to book a session because they do not know how to start. Program managers can send a few of these phrases as an announcement from the Messaging tab, filtered by mentees or mentors, sector or industry, or tags. If a recipient of your announcement replies, it will not start a group chat with the entire recipient list: their message goes directly to you.
Mentoring quotes or mentoring phrases?
Lists of famous mentoring quotes are easy to find, and many of them are credited to people who never said them. A quote inspires, but it rarely tells you what to write to your own mentor tomorrow. The phrases on this page are meant to be used: copy one, change it until it sounds like you, and send it.
Questions about what to say to a mentor
What should I say in my first message to a mentor?
Say who you are, why you chose them, what you hope to learn and how much of their time you are asking for. Keep it short and end with a clear question they can answer with a yes or a no.
How do I thank a mentor in a few words?
Name one thing that changed because of them. “Thank you for pushing me to apply, I got the role” says more than a long message of general praise.
What should a mentor say at the end of a mentorship?
Name the progress the mentee made, point to what they can keep working on alone, and say how they can reach you later. Ending with an open door keeps the relationship going after the program.
Is it fine to write a thank you letter to a mentor years later?
Yes. Mentors rarely learn what happened after the mentorship ended, so a letter that tells them is often the one they remember most.